


Remembrance

by CityEscape4



Series: Of Orphans and Orchids [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Child Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CityEscape4/pseuds/CityEscape4
Summary: Nikolai grieves the loss of friends and families past. Luca grieves the innocence of a child.





	Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

> These characters are ones I've had with me for a long time, they've just been put through the wringer several times since I've had them for over 10 years. I'm happy to introduce them to you! 
> 
> Also, forgive me if any of the languages are wrong, my spanish isn't what it once was and I don't personally know Italian or Vietnamese.

Luca glanced at the clock.

Half past one. Nikolai should have been here by now.

The Italian exhaled and frowned as he continued to go about his business, cleaning glasses at the bar leftover from the busy night last night. _“Dov'è quello stupido ragazzo?”_ 1 He murmured questioningly under his breath to no one, picking irritatedly at some hardened substance on the rim of a drinking glass.

He’d warned himself not to get attached to the kid, but something about Nikolai Burkhart was impossible to ignore. The kid had charisma, charm, and was undeniably loveable. Luca would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t started doting on the kid like he was his own son.

Though he _really_ shouldn’t be calling Nikolai a kid anymore, seeing as he was already 17.

Time really had flown since the first time he’d met Nikolai and his ragtag bunch of orphans and runaways…

* * *

_Luca was hearing things; he had to have been. There was no way he was hearing children’s voices right now._

_“Niko, I don’t think we can all fit.”_

_“Maybe only Rique and Niko shoulda come…”_

_“Kylie, shut up before someone hears you.”_

_“Its a night bar, Carmen. There’s no one here during the day.”_

_“Guys, knock it off. If you have time to yap you have time to move.”_

_Luca blinked and shook his head, frowning as he looked around,not being able to see any of these imaginary children he was hearing. He heard four voices, it seemed. Two girls and two boys. He stepped forward with the intent to search his pub for the origin of their voices, but stopped himself when a step made the floor creak._

_Immediately the voices stopped. Luca held his breath; tense for a reason he couldn’t describe. Several seconds of eerie silence passed. Maybe he_ had _been imagining their voices after all?_

_"¿Deberíamos regresar?“_

_”…Yo no sé. Está tranquilo de nuevo.“_ 2

_Great. Not only were the voices back albeit quieter, now they were in_ Spanish. _He really was losing it, wasn’t he?_

_"English, please?” came the youngest sounding voice. In his mind’s eye Luca could easily fit it to an young girl, no older than 10._

_Well at least his mental delusions were being kind enough to want him to understand his auditory hallucinations._

_There was silence for a brief few seconds longer, before one of the voices who’d been speaking Spanish spoke again, a male's voice, Luca noted. “I think we’re clear.” Again, the voices began conversing with one another, though more hushedly this time, and it was then that the realization dawned on Luca. The voices were coming from under his feet._

_He followed the sounds of their voices and took note that they were headed towards one of the back rooms, where he kept various foods that didn't need to be refrigerated. Making his way to the room, Luca didn't open the door right away, instead listening in, surprised as he heard their voices slightly more clearly, as if they were_ in _the storage room. But that couldn't have been possible..._

_Right?_

_Swinging open the door, Luca was met face to face with four children - arms full of various items such as flour and bread - and a hole in the floor, which had definitely_ not _been there the last time he'd come into the room._

_"What in the world..."_

* * *

Three quick, successive knocks drew Luca out of his recollection, recognizing the pattern as one specific to Nikolai. Setting the rag and glassware he’d been holding down, heading towards the back door. When he opened it, he was met with a older teen, a boy with black hair and blue eyes, about average height. He was lanky for his size, the dark blue pullover he sported at least a size too big. "There you are." Luca murmured gently, ushering the young adult inside.

"Sorry I was late," Nikolai said, a toothy grin gracing his slightly tanned face, "Genevieve was trying to convince me not to go out today, since her and Carmen were about to head out themselves for a little while." Niko dropped the bag he'd had slung on his shoulder down gently on the floor of the back room, right by the door. "Carmen's corrupted my poor baby sister, she thinks she's our mom now."

Luca laughed, shaking his head. "I think it's a younger sibling thing. I remember my little brother doing the same thing when he was about your sister's age, getting onto me for stupid little things like my father would."

"Speaking of stupid little things," Nikolai said, rubbing at the back of his head with a hand as he sheepishly grinned. "You wouldn't happen to have a spare thing of flour you wouldn't mind parting with, would you?"

"You speak as though I don't keep hoards of flour to make half the food on my menu, boy."

Niko's grin grew cheeky then. "So you _wouldn't_ mind?" 

Luca waved dismissively. "Of course not; not for you and the other kids." Luca grabbed a tin of flour off one of the storage shelves and carried it in hand as he ushered Nikolai to the main bar area, speaking as the teen eagerly seated himself. "Speaking of which, it's been about a month since I last saw you. How is everyone?"

It was brief, barely in the breath of a moment, but Luca noticed a strange shift in Niko at that, the young teen seeming slightly tense at his question. But as quickly as that change presented itself, it was seemingly gone, Nikolai bright and cheery as he'd always been. "Well, Jarrod's been training Virgil - putting him through the wringer so the kid can protect himself if anything. I already mentioned Genevieve and Carmen. Kylie's been watching over Felix along with Chris, since the triplet's left about 2 weeks ago to do some scouting on possible replacement bases should anything happen to this one."

Luca was in the middle of pouring a cup of Niko's favorite soda as he replayed the boy's words in his head. "You're missing someone, that was only 10 kids." 'Kids' being the operative word, as Carmen and Jarrod were 21 and 19 respectively; Though Gen, Felix, and Chris were 12, 11, and 9, so he assumed it was fine. "Ah! Enrique! How's he?"

Again, there was that split second shift, like someone was flipping a light switch inside of Niko, making him tense and untense.

Nikolai laughed. "Haha, you know Rique! He's his usual broody self, as always!" 

There was something about the way Nikolai was acting though, something subtle but not subtle enough to go undetected, Luca just couldn't put his finger on it. He was smiling, joking around... was it his body language?

"Something's bugging you, _bambino._ 3" Luca gently frowned, sliding the glass of soda to Niko. "Talk to me."

Nikolai’s usually cheerful face was unnaturally somber, and Luca couldn’t help the slightest tugs of a frown at the edges of his lips.

“…Today’s been six years since Martí.” Things were silent for a moment, Niko taking a sip of his soda. He eyes looked to the clock and his brows furrowed slightly as he did the mental math. “Another hour and forty-seven minutes.”

“Nikolai–”

“Enrique’s not taking it well. I think its finally hitting him that Martí’s been gone longer than he was here." 

_Hitting him, or hitting you?_ Luca wanted to ask, but refrained, letting Nikolai continue. While he didn’t doubt Enrique was mourning his little brother all over again, he knew Niko was very protective of his makeshift family, so much so to the point where he’d bury his own issues to help with all of theirs; so much so that he rarely, _if ever_ , voiced his own problems.

"Gen’s been quieter than usual today too.” Another sip of his soda. “She still remembers him, even if not very well. Before I came here, she was talking with Carmen, and they decided on going out together to see what all food they could get for the base, for Enrique. It's why I asked for the flour, in case they couldnt nab any. Jarrod usually gets jealous when Carmen does something with Enrique in mind, but if he had any protests today, he didn’t say or show it.”

“You all know you’re welcome here, Nikolai. I’d cook up whatever I could in a heartbeat.” Luca said, gently pulling Niko’s glass from him so he could refill it.

Niko shook his head then, waving a hand in dismissal as Luca poured more of the cola into his glass . “We couldn’t ask you to cook for all of us. There’s 12 of us, we’d eat you out of business.”

“Then at least let the little ones eat here. Genevieve, Christopher, Felix.” Luca gave a humorless laugh, a small, dry smile tugging tugging at his lips as he attempted to offer something, _anything_ to help ease some stress off of Nikolai’s shoulders. “Virgil and Kylie even, if you don’t tell Virgil I considered him one of the little ones.”

Nikolai was silent, staring down at his cup as he seemed to consider Luca’s words. “… Thank you, honestly. But we can’t. If we do it once, we’ll want to do it again. Then again, and again, and again which puts not just us, but _you_ at risk.” He looked up to Luca then, and Luca couldn’t help but see through the mask of strength Nikolai was masquerading in. He saw the exhaustion in and around the teen’s eyes, the fragility of his forced smile, the muted, almost perfectly hidden look of desperation, one would have absolutely gone undetected by the average person, had Luca hadn’t known Nikolai for the years he had. “You do enough helping me find odd jobs and such, and I’m grateful for that.”

“Boy, I have known you for how many years?” Luca frowned, leaning against his arm on the bar counter as he glared down Nikolai. “I’m at no greater risk right now than I was the day I met you.”

“You don’t know that!”

An uneasy silence settled after Niko’s outburst, the boy’s eyes wide at what, Luca could only guess. Niko had partially raised himself off his seat in his retort, and it took a moment for that to register to him. Slowly, he settled back onto his seat, his gaze lowering to the counter. Luca could hear the faint repetition of fingers anxiously drumming against fabric.

Nikolai watched as Luca scanned the shelves, then wordlessly reached for a pair of different bottles, an orange, a knife, and a bar spoon. “What are you–”

“Shush.” Luca then pulled out a thin, tall glass and using the items he gathered, concocted an orange colored drink, slightly bubbling due to being stirred with the bar spoon. On the rim of the drink was a sliced wheel of the orange, and Nikolai looked over the drink curiously. 

“What is it?”

“Try it first and then I’ll tell you.” 

Nikolai frowned at that, gently plucking the orange wheel off and placing it on a nearby napkin, before plastering an obviously fake smile on his face and speaking before he took a long swig of the drink. _"Cảm ơn ông!"_ 4

Luca's expression was flat. "... You just insulted me, didn't you." 

Niko inhaled sharply through his nose as the drink _clinked!_ onto the bar, coughing slightly as he swallowed down what he realized too late was an alcoholic beverage. "Well," he said, shaking his head as he cleared his throat out. "You just tried to poison me, so maybe I _should_ insult you." There was a warmth running along his throat that slowly, gently pooled in his stomach, and to him it honestly wasn't that bad. The warm tingly feeling almost made him want to take another go at his drink, but... "Don't waste your stuff on me. Save it for the drunkards and college kids who actually intend to pay you."

"Don't speak to me in a language you know I don't understand and I won't charge you." A lie, they both knew. Luca wasn't going to charge him regardless. "Besides, I still need to teach you Italian."

"Maybe you could learn Vietnamese or Russian." Nikolai countered as he sent a playfully teasing glare at Luca. "You're old, you're supposed to be smarter than a kid. Learn a new language, live a little.

Luca laughed, pouring a second round into Niko's drink. "Oh, you're being a smartass now, are you?" 

_Perhaps a bit more will get him to loosen up and talk,_ Luca thought. He could tell there was something Nikolai was holding back, and he wanted the young man to get it off his chest before leaving. 

* * *

_Maybe,_ Luca thought to himself 30 minutes later shortly after Nikolai had finished off his third drink, _this wasn’t the best idea._ He'd seen Nikolai cry before, but never like _this._

Nikolai was currently crying into his arms, which were folded on the countertop, his back heaving with each ragged sob. They'd been talking about the state of things back at his group's hideout - the location unknown to Luca for good reason - when Nikolai had started tearing up, obviously fighting the urge to cry, only to breakdown a moment later. Was the anniversary of little Martín's death really affecting Nikolai that much? And if so, how badly was it affecting everyone else, affecting Martí's brother Enrique? Luca might not have seen the 20 year old for a few years now, but he still held the young man, as well as all the other kids, in his thoughts.

"The others..." Nikolai managed to get out in between sobs. "The others...!"

"What about the others, _ragazzo mio?_ 5"

“What if I’m not–” he hiccuped through another sob then,the tears rolling down his face faster, “–not _strong enough?”_

Luca found himself unable to move then, halted by the weight of Nikolai’s words. Nikolai was worried about not being strong to lose another person? Or of not being strong enough _for_ the others?

“Why is it even _me_ anyway?” He asked, continuing his drunken outpour without taking notice of Luca’s stupor. “I’m not even the _oldest!_ Carmen is! She’d–” Another hiccup. “– D’be a better leader than me! Even then, Enrique and Jarrod are older too! Why do they all look to _me?_ ” Through glassed, teary eyes, Nikolai looked to Luca then, desperate for an answer the older man could not give him.

“I… I don’t know, Niko.” He pulled Nikolai’s glass away from him then, adding it to a stack of dishes under his side of the bar counter he needed to wash before he opened for the night. “Maybe its just ‘cause there’s something about you that makes people want to put their trust in you, to follow you.”

_“But what?”_

“I don’t know.” Luca repeated.

“It’s not fair.”

“It’s not.”

“I didn’t ask for this!”

“No one in these kinds of positions do, Nikolai.”

Nikolai scoffed, sniffling as he did. _"These kinds of positions._ " Nikolai leaned back in his seat, sniffling still as he rubbed his eyes. "...I didn't ask for this." He repeated.

Luca moved the glass away from Nikolai then, figuring 3 drinks was more than enough. "Nikolai--"

"I didn't _ask_ for my friends to have shit parents, or dead parents, or dead shit parents." Nikolai's face was solemn, more so than Luca could ever think Nikolai could get. "I didn't _ask_ for my mom to die, for my dad to be an asshole that wanted nothing to do with my sister. I didn't _ask_ for my _dì_ and _chú_ 6,7 to die. I didn't _ask_ for this shit government to treat kids without parents the way they do." He closed his eyes, small hiccups leaving him. "It's not fair." He opened his eyes then, giving Luca a look so forlorn that Luca couldn't help but be spurred into action.

"Come on, Nikolai." Luca moved around the bar counter, soon standing by the teen's side. "Let's get you upstairs."

"U-Upstairs?"

Luca nodded. "Yeah, Niko. Upstairs. You need to lay down." Gently, he tugged at Nikolai's shoulder as a silent way to prompt him to move, and the teen responded slowly, shifting his weight towards Luca and sliding off the seat, almost falling. "Woah there, careful."

Nikolai held onto Luca's shoulder and arm tightly, wobbling as he walked. "M-My legs... It's, uh... hard to walk..."

A dry chuckle left the bartender then. "Yeah? Alcohol can do that to you."

It didn't take long for Luca to get Nikolai to his upstairs floor, which was where the Italian lived, so he could lay Nikolai down on the couch to sleep off his drinks. He gave the boy a blanket and stayed with him, leaving only once he was sure Nikolai was asleep. He then headed back downstairs, heading towards the back door, and locking it, then leaning down and reaching into the bag Nikolai brought. It took him a moment, but he found the comms device that Carmen, Genevieve, and Virgil jointedly made that the kids all used to communicate with one another, and oppened up a new channel.

 **Nikolai is with me, he's going to be late getting back. Everything's ok, he's helped me prep for tonight's service and is taking a nap. - Luca.**

Luca closed the comms device then and put it back in Nikolai's bag, heading back out to resume cleaning and prepping for tonight's service. He could only imagine what all Nikolai had gone through, what his sister had gone through, hell what _all_ those kids had gone through. Whatever it was, whatever misfortunes they had that he couldn't even fathom... they didn't deserve them. No one did.

And yet they were all strong enough to find each other, and persevere.

**Author's Note:**

> 1 : "Dov'è quello stupido ragazzo?" = "Where is that stupid boy?" in Italian  
> 2 :"¿Deberíamos regresar?“ ”…Yo no sé. Está tranquilo de nuevo.“ = "Should we go back?" "I don't know. It's quiet again." in Spanish  
> 3 : "Bambino" = "Young boy" in Italian  
> 4 : "Cảm ơn ông" = "Thank you!" in Vietnamese  
> 5 : "ragazzo mio" = "my boy" in Italian  
> 6 : "dì" = "Aunt" in Vietnamese  
> 7 : "chú" = "Uncle" in Vietnamese


End file.
